Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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