I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
