Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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