The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Two words: nipple clamps
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