I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize