You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
