chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
