she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
