I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
