We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
