i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize