3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Fuck appropriateness.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize