Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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