I want to walk on stilts...naked
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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