After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
