Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
