That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Fuck appropriateness.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Terrible idea I love it
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Randomize
