if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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