As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize