Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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