Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
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