Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
