i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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