you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
