OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
