Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Randomize
