when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Do vagina's smell?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Randomize
