you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize