Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Randomize