I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Come see our sink grown plant.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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