dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
