that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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