: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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