The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
