Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
