Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
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