Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Randomize