i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
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