i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
