Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Randomize
