I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
