You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
