id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
