so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
