hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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