omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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