U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
