1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
