I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
third nipple confirmed
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
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