O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize