where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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