He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize