when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
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