you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Randomize
