well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
