somebody snuck up and got me drunk
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
