I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
