is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
