Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
