You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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