It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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