I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
