she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
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